Perfect
A dollar paying job,
A room of my own with nice shoes in the closet,
A cooling system for hot days and hot date nights,
A fine boyfriend with jokes for days and love for me,
Holiday trips to clear my head and a vlog to tell the stories,
Money for my siblings and all their whims and wishes.
A perfect life!
I have thought of the perfect life I want more times than there are days in a year. My imagination has crafted every piece of that life, leaving not even the fine details of my lover’s eyes to chance. It is a dream but it is as vivid as the aroma of mama’s stew.
Do you know what's also vivid? The stark difference between what my life is now and the perfect life. It is loudly rude, not even giving my daydreams a chance at life. I mean it is the sound of "there is no food this night" that woke me from my last perfect life daydreaming session.
What is the perfect life? Is there a perfect life?
I desperately want to have the answers and for the answers to be positive but nah, that's not it.
They say there is no perfect life. I agree.
They say there is no arrival. I agree
They say there is no destination called happiness. I agree
But will I stop obsessing over the perfect life? Not sure I will. It is the illusion that keeps me sane so I'll cling for as long as I can to the nothingness that are my dreams of a perfect life and awake to disappointment again.
It is a cycle, it is my cycle
